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etrayamemes2024-08-17 09:06 am
It's the middle of the night and you're trying to catch some z's — or brooding alone in the alleys, as one does — when your phone dings, and suddenly a stranger or a friend is texting you. What could they possibly want at this hour? Is it important? Stupid? Are they drunk or maybe just needy?
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one hey, so i'm blaming feeling like i was dropped out of a helicopter on you. you owe me.
two please ignore that spelling question i sent you, i've just realized autocorrect answered it for me.
three gonna be late. couldn't find my pants, needed coffee.
four we've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays strictly sexual, we get along.
five that's fascinating, but i didn't realize we were having a competition in poor decision-making skills.
wildcard or text him idk
keepgodwaiting
2024-08-17 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
fullmeddle
- 2024-08-20 01:52 (UTC) - Expand1. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
2. The bot remembered my drink from last week. Think I've been coming to this bar a little too much.
3. Thanks for your unwanted opinion. Is that all?
4. Trust me. Drunk Scrabble and mutants are not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, powers are used, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
5. misfires, send your own text, etc.
1. Can you put a coffee maker in the dishwasher? You know what never mind, I want to be surprised.
2. Don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's mine.
3. Are you going to regret this?
4. misfires, send your own text, etc.
a. drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
b. you are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
c. i smell like cotton candy and guilt.
d. don't judge, it's breakfast wine wednesday.
e. text her!
01. Let the record show that I hate your ass.
02. I pointed at him and said “there goes Mr Fuckwad”
03. He's better-looking with the mask on.
04. Can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
05. There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
1. Where are my shoes?
2. It's official. You can't kill me.
3. I don't think that was meant for me.
4. Are you sure you don't want me to try restarting this whole universe?
5. I vote we arrive and tell them 'we're only here for drinks & deserts'
6. One day, when I undoubtedly need an intervention again, please let it include lemon cakes.
1) Then I got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in Sacajawea dollar coins.
2) Mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing.
3) When he passed out you poured vodka on his face.
4) text him!
once_reborn
2024-08-18 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
a. Update: I've befriended a stray dog, and I'm going to teach it how to fetch. Supplies. Fetch supplies.
b. I know I joke about running from my problems a lot, but I’m 3 miles away and need a ride.
c. You're quite possibly the most enthusiastic likable bad influence I've ever met.
d. (text her!)
wapow
- 2024-08-19 01:35 (UTC) - Expand
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