TDM 006

[etrayamods]

⏵ arrival ⏴ Arrival is absolutely not normal this month. Instead of a hospital bed, you wake in a tunnel with a large group of other people. These are the residents. A woman’s voice in an earpiece hurriedly clues you in with an apology. I apologize; I had not planned to introduce you this way, but we are low on time. Please proceed down the hallway. An image of a shattered pearl pops up on your personal HUD and rotates. I am Aurora. You are joining many others on Etraya in order to save your world from destruction by completing missions. Your current mission is to find the pieces of this object that have become scattered in the library ahead of you. For everyone else, coming in is much the same. The instruction goes out to head to designated areas immediately, where companion bots will escort the residents of Etraya down into the depths, the area beneath where much the same is explained. ⏵ disrobing ⏴ The tunnel eventually opens directly into the foreroom of an expansive library, painted in marvelous hues and patterns with skylights far above. There are wizards milling about, bearded and holding tomes, quietly chatting amongst themselves. The reception area of the library has tall ceilings with equally tall doors Before you get too caught up in the scenery, a voice directs you forward. A gentleman, hunched and bespeckled craws out. "Make a line! Make a line, everyone! You cannot enter the library dressed as you are... Come forward and give me your name." The receptionist asks your given name and then hands over a box from underneath his counter. You can give him any name you want, he doesn’t seem to mind. It is tied with a tagged ribbon- labeling it accordingly. “The _____ robe of _______.” (First Letter of Given Name) (Last Letter of Given Name) A Controlling N Helpful A Melodies N Light B Glimmering O Floating B Discretion O Mind-Reading C Wet P Handsome C Growth P Climbing D Gruesome Q Gullible D Grasping Q Jumping E Observant R Ratty E Flying R Hurting F Powerful S Adhesive F Reading S Guiding G Psychedelic T Sweltering G Dancing T Bug-Speaking H Swift U Cheerful H Shouting U Exploding I Voracious V Anxious I Extracting V Complaining J Soft W Likeable J Punishing W Dividing K Keen X Ruthless K Creeping X Slapping L Fabulous Y Dramatic L Walking Y Charming M Fair Z Demonic M Listening Z Combustion As you read what the contents of the box may be, they form inside- Looking and behaving as your character expects them to. After all, magic is all in the wielder’s mind. Don your robes and enter the library. ⏵ unfamiliar familiars ⏴ For those without a familiar (like one hatched from an egg not too long ago) you may borrow one from the library counter. They all have strengths and weaknesses, but they will all assist in the very important mission. As you roam the library, they will make little indications that you are closer or further from finding a piece of the pearl. Pro • Hardworking • Gives correct directions 75% of time • Won’t run away from you • Very affectionate • Gives correct directions only when paired with another rat, toad, or personal pet. • Gives correct directions 90% of the time Con • Must feed bookworms • Will run away if too close to a cat • Does not care for you • Sleepy • Will run ahead • Gets distracted by rats ⏵ the task at hand ⏴ With robes donned and creature in hand, you must now complete your mission. Find the pieces of the shattered pearl. As you enter the library, you may notice that it’s all very dim. There’s oil lamps around the place that may be moved with you to assist in your journey if your robes do not already emit light. Break off and search the library. There is a directory at the front to point guests to all the different sections. Wings of the Library A General Works B Music C Philosophy, Religion D Fine Arts E History, Auxiliary Sciences F Language and Literature G Magic, General H Science J Geography, Anthopology K Medicine M Agriculture N Hobbies, Recreation P Social Science Q Military R Political Science S Practical Arts T Law W People X Education Y Spiders Each section looks enough like the last, though the books within have immense power. Pick up the wrong book, and you might conjure a dragon or a historical figure! You must persist and avoid making too much noise or breaking too many things. Or else the Librarian, a tall mass of knotted fabric will confiscate your robe and usher you back outside. Your name will be struck from the list, and you must pick a new one to re-enter the library to continue the search. You can try to fight back against him- he may be set alight with the lamp. But should you be starting fires in here? ⏵ NOTES ⏴ Any thread with 15 comments between you and another may be submitted to find a piece of the pearl. There are 20 pieces altogether, and we will determine if the mission was successful by March 28th. A post will go live on the OOC comm for this! This mission occurs out of time, similar to how the spaceship had. Meaning, those currently in game can experience these events any time between now, and March 14th. Please direct all questions to our mod queries comment! ⏵FULL NAVIGATION⏴

Comments

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver shrugs at that. For now, he doesn't say. But hospitals and medicine and fresh food don't last. He takes another sip of whiskey, letting it warm him. ]

Pope?

[ He lifts the glass, watching it swirl. Wondering if he ought to clam up. Avoid saying anything lest he betray his family by accident.

But then, Pope is dead now. ]

He looked after us, [ Carver says after a while. ] We didn't have anywhere else to go, so he gave us a place. And he kept us going after the world ended. He made sure I was strong enough.

[aimsforknees]

[ John has to wonder about that last "made sure I was strong enough." It makes him think of Kara, of how she tore him to shreds. How she cut him down again and and again until he fit she shape he needed to be for the CIA. Of course in the end she strapped a bomb to his chest. That was just Kara. ]

I had a partner like that. Made sure I was fit for my job. Shot me without hesitation when she was given the word.

[ He's not really sure why he said that last part. It's not like he's drunk and letting things fall out. Maybe this is part of being soft. Maybe he sees something familiar in Carver that makes him more honest. ]

Cw abuse, cult shit

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Oh, Carver thinks, and he watches the glass for a moment instead of John. It’s hard not to think of Bossie screaming as he burned. How the instinct to say Pope would never do anything like that withers and falls silent in the face of that memory, and the way it felt to drag the body out into the trees. Carver buried him, little brother who died in pain, and they never spoke of it again. ]

Did you deserve it? [ he asks quietly. ]

[aimsforknees]

[ Did he deserve it? No, he can say that for certain. He might have deserved to die for other reasons, but not why Kara shot him. ]

Not for that. The Agency wanted to burn us both. I got orders to shoot her too, got told the same thing as she did, but I couldn't do it. That's the lesson she was always trying to teach me.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ None of the others said a word about what the commander did to Bossie afterward. What could any of them have said? Best to let it go. Move on, keep the faith, pass the tests that were put to them. But he thinks about it. He dreams about it almost every night now.

Bossie was the youngest in their group. The first soldier Carver ever trained. His responsibility. And then—

He twitches. He doesn’t look at John. The commander loves them. Loved them. The commander would never do anything that wasn’t ultimately for the good of the group. ]

What lesson?

[aimsforknees]

[ What lesson indeed? That there was nothing for him anymore. That the only thing he needed was orders, killing whoever needed to be killed, doing whatever it took to get the information they needed. What he actually deserved to get shot for was letting Casey go, for firing his gun into the ground instead of his chest. Trying to go back for Jessica. Trying to make a difference. But she didn't even know that, in the end. She just shot him because they told her to. ]

That I should love my job.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver feels his fingers twitch against the glass, familiar anxiety going sharp and hot in his chest. You cannot doubt, he tells himself, you cannot falter, not even for a second. Pope loved them, Pope made them strong, and if he made hard calls, it was only because he had to.

He swallows. Takes another drink and tells himself to stop being such a bitch about it. The mission stands. Pope’s gone but Shaw isn’t, and she’s going to need him. She can’t have a weak second in command. ]

Do you? [ he asks, very quietly. ]

cw: suicide ideation

[aimsforknees]

I didn't.

[ It feels hard to admit that. He's never said it aloud. That his time in the CIA was bad. That it did bad things to him. That Kara and Mark did bad things to him. He's sure he did good, it's impossible not to have done some good, but it's also impossible that he didn't do bad. Kill innocent people just because he was told to. That the Agency didn't use him for their dirty work. ]

I have a new job now. I love this one.

[ He does. He has a new job and a new person looking out for him, and it saved his life. He wakes up in the morning and doesn't feel like sinking through the cracks in the ground and disappearing for good. He doesn't think of the bottle, of the bullet. He may not have much time left, but when he goes out it'll be doing some good in the world, not just saving the world from himself. ]

Cw cult shit

[fortitudosalutis]

Oh, [ Carver says, because what else can you do in a moment like this? Most people endure their jobs, he knows. They survive. They find space in the corners, the quiet moments. He hadn’t loved being a soldier but he’d loved his family, the brothers and sisters he met even in the worst places, and so he was a good soldier because that meant he could keep them safe. The rest was just noise.

He watches the whiskey swirl in the glass. And then he wonders what it’d be like to get absolutely goddamn tanked so he doesn’t have to think about this anymore. If that sin would be more or less than what’s already bouncing around his skull. Pope would have sensed the weakness in him. Would have burned it out of him one way or another.

You have to, right? You have to. ]

I love my sister. [ He nods, resolute. And he refuses to believe Leah Shaw is dead. ] So I love my job.

[aimsforknees]

[ The thing is, it turns out, you don't have to. It took Harold to teach John that. That there's good in the world. Good people trying to do good things. Even just one good person. Carver says he loves his sister. John doesn't know if he loves Harold. He probably does. But he knows that he would follow Harold anywhere, do anything for him. He'll die for Harold in one way or another. John has seen enough bad to know that Harold might be one of the few good people left, and John might not be a good person but he can follow Harold. Trust him. ]

That's good. Hold onto that love, don't let it go.

[ He did that, let it go in an airport. He made that mistake. ]

[fortitudosalutis]

Mhmm.

[ He finishes the glass instead of savoring it, letting the whiskey burn in his throat. It settles warm in him and Carver tells himself that's a comfort. He doesn't know how badly Shaw got hurt. But he knows that she got shot, knows she probably took it in the back from a large caliber revolver, same one that the woman in red pointed at his goddamn face only to find an empty click. That's the point where things get fuzzy.

The creed stands, though. He let his sister down and he will spend whatever time he has left trying to make up for it. He let Shaw down, wasn't enough for Matthew, couldn't stop Pope from hurting Bossie -

Don't, Carver tells himself. Don't ever go there. ]

God loves her, [ he says after a moment, reassuring himself. ] God always loved her best.

[aimsforknees]

[ Watching Carver down his drink, John reaches for the bottle and holds out to him as an offer; Carver might be used to a life of rationing things but he doesn't need to here. Not now. He can just have more if he wants. ]

What's she like?

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Oh, Carver thinks. He hesitates for a moment before accepting a refill with a murmured thanks. ]

There weren’t many women in Korengal. But she was there, and she taught me how to survive it.

[ His voice is soft. ]

She’s a stone cold killer in the field. But out of it, she never forgot how to be a person, you know?

[aimsforknees]

[ John remembers the people who were like that. That somehow kept their heads above water. In the end he didn't. Maybe that's part of why the CIA picked him. Kara certainly did her best to burn any last traces out of him so there was just the job left. That was fine back in New York, he could just make his life be the numbers, but he's lost in Etraya. He doesn't remember how to just be a person and it shows. ]

That's special. Takes a strong person to do that.

[fortitudosalutis]

The kids called her big sister.

[ Carver did, too. His expression softens a little in remembering and he lifts his shirt, revealing the ugly dappling of shrapnel scars over his hip. ]

Booby trap. Went right through my armor. I thought I was done.

[ He shakes his head. ]

She threw me over her shoulder and dragged my ass out. Just like that.

[aimsforknees]

[ He feels like it was a good idea to ask Carver more about this when he sees the look on his face. ]

It's good to have people looking out for you, that you can rely on.

[ Once upon a time that was Kara, up until she shot him. Up until she strapped a bomb to his chest. He wonders sometimes if it was all just a job to her, if she ever felt any of the companionship she showed him. Now he has Harold, Harold who dragged his bleeding body from the clutches of the CIA, Harold who diffused his bomb vest. John doesn't doubt Harold's commitment to... whatever is between them. ]

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver just rubs his thumb along the rim of the glass. Expression a little distant. ]

That who Finch is to you?

cw: suicide ideation

[aimsforknees]

[ Is that what Harold is to him? Yes, obviously, but so much more. When he told the Machine he wasn't willing to live without Harold, when he put his life up as a bargaining chip to get that sliver of information, he meant it. It wasn't an empty threat. He only has this life because of Harold; Harold is his compass. Harold is so much more than that, the ways he fits into John's life are only things he thinks about in the dark of night when he can't sleep. The things he desired from Harold are secrets he'll never speak. No, what they have is enough. ]

Yes.

[ He's not going to elaborate, but something about the mood, something about trading these moments back and forth with Carver, makes him open his mouth again. But the words "I'd do anything for him" stay lodged in his throat and in the end he just closes his mouth again and takes a drink, staring at the liquid in his glass in the aftermath of the feelings he has no way to express. ]

cw: death of a child

[fortitudosalutis]

Ah.

[ That hangs in the air between them, the silence unbroken. Carver rubs his thumb along the rim of his glass, thinking about his sister, thinking about Bossie, about Mancea and Wash and Fisher and all the others he swore to protect. And he thinks about Delaney, who never got to see her child, and Matthew, who died before his time. None of them were prepared to be parents, but then Shaw pressed a red, screaming infant into his arms. Take him, Carve, she'd whispered. Just for a minute. And he hadn't known what to do, not really, none of them had, but he held Matthew and swore to protect him as much as they all loved him.

It wasn't enough in the end. Maybe it never is. ]

I failed her, [ Carver explains softly. ] I heard her get shot, but I didn't see her fall. And if I didn't see her fall, then she's not dead.

[aimsforknees]

[ John doesn't need to imagine the fear he'd feel if he thought Harold had been shot. It happened with Root in the train station; the gunshot, seeing Harold fall over from behind the pillar. The desperate seconds of not knowing what had happened. And then the utter relief that followed. ]

No, you don't know she's dead. It's not real until you know. Hold onto that hope.

[fortitudosalutis]

You don't know until you know.

[ He held onto the hope that Matthew was alive for six years when they were all separated, right up until Shaw showed him the grave. He held onto that faith. He can do it again, if he has to.

Carver downs the rest of the glass without a word. ]

[aimsforknees]

[ John offers the bottle again. He really means to show Carver he's welcome here, that he can relax, that he can have, that he doesn't need to deny himself. John knows what it's like to have to unlearn things like that, though not to the extent he images Carver does. But John can offer him this much. ]

I thought my old partner was dead for years until she showed up one day. You truly never know. Sometimes I still think she'll show up out of the blue again.

[ He says "think" but he means "has nightmares". What would Kara do to him next? What would she try to take from him this time? He doesn't think his life would be enough if she truly managed to cheat death a second time. ]

[fortitudosalutis]

[ By right, he should refuse. The commander never let them get drunk, lest their situational awareness suffer. And that is a grave sin indeed, worthy of punishment.

The commander's not here, though. The commander's dead on a rooftop in Meridian, rotting in the sun.

Carver fills up his glass again. Maybe he wants to forget. Maybe he wants to stop thinking for a little while. Just for a little while. ]

My sister got separated from us on the road, [ he replies softly. ] For years. But we found her. I'll find her again.

[ He'll stake his soul if it comes to that. If he's not rotting in Meridian with the commander, he'll go back to bury their dead and then he'll stand until the end of his days at Leah Shaw's side. ]

[aimsforknees]

[ John raises his glass. It's still his first. He's going slow. He could be on this third like Carver, but he made himself a deal that he wouldn't drink like that again while Harold needed him. He's been good about keeping it, even if can be hard. ]

To reunions.

[ He takes his drink. He remembers the way Kara's nails used to bite into his skin when they were together. He hopes it really was her burnt corpse in that car. ]

Tell me about the rest of your family?

[fortitudosalutis]

To reunions, [ Carver echoes. His tolerance for alcohol is shit right now. He's going to be stupid drunk when this is done, surely a sin. But maybe this is a lesser one, on balance. He takes another drink and tilts his head back, breathing out slow. ]

We all served in Korengal. Some of us started this thing in the mess hall, where we'd hang out when everyone else was getting their mail. Called it the orphan club. 'cause we didn't have anyone else.

[ He hefts the glass, shaking his head. ]

Anchetta cheats at cards, but he's the smartest fucker I've ever met. Choi whittles dice. Mancea got fucked up jumping out of planes when he was younger, but he can still hold his own. We don't worry about him going out, even though he's an old man.

[ They're all dead now, he thinks. Everyone but Shaw. ]