[ It's a good question. Noelle's gaze flickers down to Krouse, and there's a brief moment of eye contact where Noelle nearly comes out of the fog. Trying to access the memory gives her something to work at. They'd gone on a hike.
She still can't remember the sun on her skin. They started moving her under cover of darkness early on. They were fugitives, Krouse had told her. It was going to be okay. She didn't walk right, not even in the early days, with all that growth on her legs. It was going to be okay.
Her rampage didn't count. The sun was drowned out by bullets and spears and forcefields and teeth, until it wasn't.
The doors open. The first thing Noelle does with her freedom, even before stepping outside, is flinch. But there is no army outside, no firing squad waiting to put her down. There's only a field of grass and Krouse - always Krouse - holding the door open.
Noelle steps through the door. She looks up. Squints. Her arms loosen, and her entire body - human and monster - uncurls.
If she starts crying now, she won't be able to stop. It's warm. A gentle breeze tosses her hair. For the first time in years, she doesn't smell raw meat, or decay, or death. Her animal heads yawn and close their eyes, like cats sleeping under a sunny window.
She'll look back at Krouse eventually. She trusts that he's still here. Right now, Noelle lets her body feel good. She closes her eyes, and tears still escape from under the lids anyway. ]
It's nice.
[ Hushed, reverent, and impossibly, impossibly lucky. ]
no subject
She still can't remember the sun on her skin. They started moving her under cover of darkness early on. They were fugitives, Krouse had told her. It was going to be okay. She didn't walk right, not even in the early days, with all that growth on her legs. It was going to be okay.
Her rampage didn't count. The sun was drowned out by bullets and spears and forcefields and teeth, until it wasn't.
The doors open. The first thing Noelle does with her freedom, even before stepping outside, is flinch. But there is no army outside, no firing squad waiting to put her down. There's only a field of grass and Krouse - always Krouse - holding the door open.
Noelle steps through the door. She looks up. Squints. Her arms loosen, and her entire body - human and monster - uncurls.
If she starts crying now, she won't be able to stop. It's warm. A gentle breeze tosses her hair. For the first time in years, she doesn't smell raw meat, or decay, or death. Her animal heads yawn and close their eyes, like cats sleeping under a sunny window.
She'll look back at Krouse eventually. She trusts that he's still here. Right now, Noelle lets her body feel good. She closes her eyes, and tears still escape from under the lids anyway. ]
It's nice.
[ Hushed, reverent, and impossibly, impossibly lucky. ]