[ There's only a handful of people anywhere who'd even heard the strategy. There's only one who would have cared enough to remember.
Krouse sinks into a crouch, wrapping his arms around his knees and hiding his face inside of their shelter like a little kid. His breath comes in a wet, torn rush, the hitch of a sob threatening to spill over into a wave of them. He doesn't let it.
He's not even sad. He's too much, a tidal wave of impossible feelings. Months of thinking about her every single fucking day, about the vast span and depth of the ways he'd fucked up. All the ways he'd let her down, right up until the fucking end.
He'd promised he'd be with her. He owed her that much, and he couldn't even get that right.
All the things he wanted to tell her - every useless fucking apology, every worthless confession - tangle up in a hard and bitter knot in his throat. He wishes he could choke on it.
Krouse flicks the transmission channel to voice before he can tell himself that he should shut the fuck up and leave her alone. There's nothing he could possibly say to her that she'd want to hear.
But he wants to hear her again. He wants to see her more than he wants anything else, and if there's one thing he knows about himself now, it's that he's always been a selfish fuck. ]
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Krouse sinks into a crouch, wrapping his arms around his knees and hiding his face inside of their shelter like a little kid. His breath comes in a wet, torn rush, the hitch of a sob threatening to spill over into a wave of them. He doesn't let it.
He's not even sad. He's too much, a tidal wave of impossible feelings. Months of thinking about her every single fucking day, about the vast span and depth of the ways he'd fucked up. All the ways he'd let her down, right up until the fucking end.
He'd promised he'd be with her. He owed her that much, and he couldn't even get that right.
All the things he wanted to tell her - every useless fucking apology, every worthless confession - tangle up in a hard and bitter knot in his throat. He wishes he could choke on it.
Krouse flicks the transmission channel to voice before he can tell himself that he should shut the fuck up and leave her alone. There's nothing he could possibly say to her that she'd want to hear.
But he wants to hear her again. He wants to see her more than he wants anything else, and if there's one thing he knows about himself now, it's that he's always been a selfish fuck. ]
Noelle?