( he's not happy about any of this, but none of them are, so.
quentin pulls out his stupid you're welcome line, and julian - grunts in distaste, but doesn't offer any snide commentary. he could shove quentin off for being a jackass, could pull back and sock him in the face if he really wanted to, but he's - tired. exhausted, after the bullshit with sophie. after jay. finding laura here, even if she's tiny. the mess with the institute, telling jay everything would be fine once they got back home because it was even if he now - knows better. jesus christ. what's he supposed to tell the sad bird boy now? hey, sorry i got your hopes up, actually everything is going to fall apart yet again?
and even worse: here he is holding onto quire for dear life, as crappy as that is.
granted, quire's also probably one of the few julian could break down on. he's not one of the assholes who treat their generation like canon fodder, he was never one of julian's because by the time he'd started figuring out his own crap, quire was dead. he wasn't there for breakdowns two through four and showed back up after julian got fucked so bad he had to relearn how to do even the simplest of crap. and now they're here. he hears quire's voice in his head, once again considers telling him to just fuck off and go to hell, but doesn't.
instead, he just grips onto quentin harder. lets out a shaky breath, and shoves his face into his neck. lets his initial just five seconds drag on a little longer while he tries not to think about everything else. doesn't think about crucible, or all the kids they've lost. how the whole deal with krakoa moving off to the white hot room means losing everyone they'd left behind. doesn't think about how he can't imagine the amount of friends that finally got their lives back only for julian to lose them forever, again. did jay get out, or do they now have the fun job of telling him he's technically alive but somewhere else? he won't break, not like this.
they hadn't had the space to mourn before. a funeral here and there, but with everything constantly falling apart around them, it's not as if they had the time to heal from that. and julian won't have the time to mourn krakoa, either. not here. he has this moment, with fucking quire wrapped around him. had his moment of destruction with sophie, but. )
/I'm not going to freak out, asshole./
( telepaths camping out in their heads is just another part of being a mutant, isn't it. julian takes another moment to just breathe, then offers, )
Did you use Soph's shampoo? You smell like the girls' dorms.
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quentin pulls out his stupid you're welcome line, and julian - grunts in distaste, but doesn't offer any snide commentary. he could shove quentin off for being a jackass, could pull back and sock him in the face if he really wanted to, but he's - tired. exhausted, after the bullshit with sophie. after jay. finding laura here, even if she's tiny. the mess with the institute, telling jay everything would be fine once they got back home because it was even if he now - knows better. jesus christ. what's he supposed to tell the sad bird boy now? hey, sorry i got your hopes up, actually everything is going to fall apart yet again?
and even worse: here he is holding onto quire for dear life, as crappy as that is.
granted, quire's also probably one of the few julian could break down on. he's not one of the assholes who treat their generation like canon fodder, he was never one of julian's because by the time he'd started figuring out his own crap, quire was dead. he wasn't there for breakdowns two through four and showed back up after julian got fucked so bad he had to relearn how to do even the simplest of crap. and now they're here. he hears quire's voice in his head, once again considers telling him to just fuck off and go to hell, but doesn't.
instead, he just grips onto quentin harder. lets out a shaky breath, and shoves his face into his neck. lets his initial just five seconds drag on a little longer while he tries not to think about everything else. doesn't think about crucible, or all the kids they've lost. how the whole deal with krakoa moving off to the white hot room means losing everyone they'd left behind. doesn't think about how he can't imagine the amount of friends that finally got their lives back only for julian to lose them forever, again. did jay get out, or do they now have the fun job of telling him he's technically alive but somewhere else? he won't break, not like this.
they hadn't had the space to mourn before. a funeral here and there, but with everything constantly falling apart around them, it's not as if they had the time to heal from that. and julian won't have the time to mourn krakoa, either. not here. he has this moment, with fucking quire wrapped around him. had his moment of destruction with sophie, but. )
/I'm not going to freak out, asshole./
( telepaths camping out in their heads is just another part of being a mutant, isn't it. julian takes another moment to just breathe, then offers, )
Did you use Soph's shampoo? You smell like the girls' dorms.