( he's not complaining, but he's not telling quire thanks either. not when he's still in his face, not when he's still contemplating what the hell he's supposed to do with this. it'd be really damn nice, if they could have just one part of their lives not be full of complications. quire pissing him off? fine. quire riding the line of an anxiety attack and then shoving all of that onto julian, pulling him back into his own nightmares of being shredded to pieces only for him to, what, decide maybe julian wants to remember what it feels like to be able to touch someone with hands he doesn't have currently, supposedly will have back soon, but the cost of his resurrection, his renewal is that - not long after, they'll lose yet another home they'd built up for themselves?
it's not fair.
it's never fair.
none of this is. there's so many levels to how fucked up their entire lives are, to quentin dying, over and over again, and for what. julian's gotten fucked up, been left behind, brought back into the fold only to go out on the front lines and get himself fucked up again and for what? peace was never an option, not when fear is why people hate them so much. violence does nothing but make it worse. telling humanity to fuck off and leave them alone while they went off to live on their own terms didn't work. and look how badly they fucked up quentin's head while trying to do that. jesus. )
No, jackass. I'm not good. ( but he will give an extra hard shove against quentin's chest, before he's taking a step back and away. breaks the contact, because he's going to try to claw his way out of his own skin if that keeps up. it hadn't been all that long ago since he told jay he was pretty sure they were all just waiting around for their turn to die after m-day. that they'd finally, finally gotten a place they could just - be safe. and now look at them. )
Don't act like you know me, because you clearly don't. Don't act like I'm here to be your personal punishment dispenser, because I'm not going to hit you. You want someone to fuck you over because you can't do it yourself? Find someone else.
no subject
it's not fair.
it's never fair.
none of this is. there's so many levels to how fucked up their entire lives are, to quentin dying, over and over again, and for what. julian's gotten fucked up, been left behind, brought back into the fold only to go out on the front lines and get himself fucked up again and for what? peace was never an option, not when fear is why people hate them so much. violence does nothing but make it worse. telling humanity to fuck off and leave them alone while they went off to live on their own terms didn't work. and look how badly they fucked up quentin's head while trying to do that. jesus. )
No, jackass. I'm not good. ( but he will give an extra hard shove against quentin's chest, before he's taking a step back and away. breaks the contact, because he's going to try to claw his way out of his own skin if that keeps up. it hadn't been all that long ago since he told jay he was pretty sure they were all just waiting around for their turn to die after m-day. that they'd finally, finally gotten a place they could just - be safe. and now look at them. )
Don't act like you know me, because you clearly don't. Don't act like I'm here to be your personal punishment dispenser, because I'm not going to hit you. You want someone to fuck you over because you can't do it yourself? Find someone else.