[ Is that what Harold is to him? Yes, obviously, but so much more. When he told the Machine he wasn't willing to live without Harold, when he put his life up as a bargaining chip to get that sliver of information, he meant it. It wasn't an empty threat. He only has this life because of Harold; Harold is his compass. Harold is so much more than that, the ways he fits into John's life are only things he thinks about in the dark of night when he can't sleep. The things he desired from Harold are secrets he'll never speak. No, what they have is enough. ]
Yes.
[ He's not going to elaborate, but something about the mood, something about trading these moments back and forth with Carver, makes him open his mouth again. But the words "I'd do anything for him" stay lodged in his throat and in the end he just closes his mouth again and takes a drink, staring at the liquid in his glass in the aftermath of the feelings he has no way to express. ]
cw: suicide ideation
Yes.
[ He's not going to elaborate, but something about the mood, something about trading these moments back and forth with Carver, makes him open his mouth again. But the words "I'd do anything for him" stay lodged in his throat and in the end he just closes his mouth again and takes a drink, staring at the liquid in his glass in the aftermath of the feelings he has no way to express. ]