[ It feels hard to admit that. He's never said it aloud. That his time in the CIA was bad. That it did bad things to him. That Kara and Mark did bad things to him. He's sure he did good, it's impossible not to have done some good, but it's also impossible that he didn't do bad. Kill innocent people just because he was told to. That the Agency didn't use him for their dirty work. ]
I have a new job now. I love this one.
[ He does. He has a new job and a new person looking out for him, and it saved his life. He wakes up in the morning and doesn't feel like sinking through the cracks in the ground and disappearing for good. He doesn't think of the bottle, of the bullet. He may not have much time left, but when he goes out it'll be doing some good in the world, not just saving the world from himself. ]
cw: suicide ideation
[ It feels hard to admit that. He's never said it aloud. That his time in the CIA was bad. That it did bad things to him. That Kara and Mark did bad things to him. He's sure he did good, it's impossible not to have done some good, but it's also impossible that he didn't do bad. Kill innocent people just because he was told to. That the Agency didn't use him for their dirty work. ]
I have a new job now. I love this one.
[ He does. He has a new job and a new person looking out for him, and it saved his life. He wakes up in the morning and doesn't feel like sinking through the cracks in the ground and disappearing for good. He doesn't think of the bottle, of the bullet. He may not have much time left, but when he goes out it'll be doing some good in the world, not just saving the world from himself. ]