[ the way till dissolves into sobs makes ivan want to take him into himself, keep him there so that nothing can ever make him feel this way again— nothing and nobody. funny, when the reality is that ivan made him feel like this. ivan made him feel this way and till would rather cry alone than have ivan sit here with him for it.
ivan's shutdown is a bit different. it's quiet and emotionless— on the surface, anyway. not even the promise of keeping himself safe can provide the motivation to work a smile onto his face. he's never seen till cry like this before. has he? if he's not allowed to right now, maybe his memory is right. he would remember something like this when it comes to till.
he doesn't realize he is wearing an expression on his face, so emotionally and mentally shaken by their reunion and how it's culminated into... this. ivan's eyes are a little wide and his eyebrows are knit, the line of his mouth set in a small but noticeable frown. till won't see it either, though, and so there's no one to witness this.
whether he's "cared for" or not, ivan is aware of his place. he doesn't bother to try and put himself in someone else's shoes— mizi's, maybe— because he'd never be able to. even if he were, till wouldn't want that from him. till has just pushed him away, after all. literally.
what does caring for someone even mean? has ivan had it wrong this whole time?
ivan pushes himself up, and wordlessly, he leaves. he doesn't look back, ivan fearing he won't know what he might do if he does. ]
wow haha so glad i came back to finish this TDM thread (: i love a happy ending ahaha ehe ahuhu
ivan's shutdown is a bit different. it's quiet and emotionless— on the surface, anyway. not even the promise of keeping himself safe can provide the motivation to work a smile onto his face. he's never seen till cry like this before. has he? if he's not allowed to right now, maybe his memory is right. he would remember something like this when it comes to till.
he doesn't realize he is wearing an expression on his face, so emotionally and mentally shaken by their reunion and how it's culminated into... this. ivan's eyes are a little wide and his eyebrows are knit, the line of his mouth set in a small but noticeable frown. till won't see it either, though, and so there's no one to witness this.
whether he's "cared for" or not, ivan is aware of his place. he doesn't bother to try and put himself in someone else's shoes— mizi's, maybe— because he'd never be able to. even if he were, till wouldn't want that from him. till has just pushed him away, after all. literally.
what does caring for someone even mean? has ivan had it wrong this whole time?
ivan pushes himself up, and wordlessly, he leaves. he doesn't look back, ivan fearing he won't know what he might do if he does. ]