[Till's head feels heavy—before their stage match, it had been a while since he'd seen Ivan. someone who'd been stuck to him like a shadow through almost the entirety of his time in Anakt Garden had become almost a stranger. Mizi went missing in their time apart. it all wore on Till—it wasn't loneliness exactly, but just...a heavy, numbing emotional burden.
for years, Till had only really seen Ivan's face through ads, and probably vice-versa. Till was never booked for interviews, due to his unruly, predictable nature. Till's stomach would twist in a strange way he didn't like to hear Ivan's voice in casual passing, but couldn't resist reading some of his interviews where he could.
then Ivan died, and now there's all this bullshit. but maybe it's inevitable. they aren't kids anymore, but people like Ivan and Till don't really know what it means to become men, either.
he's just glad to be close to Ivan, even if the situation is still shitty. but it's not as shitty as a fake choke-out, as far as contact goes. that, Luka's mocking, intimate touch, and Mizi's soft cradling have been the sum total of human connection since the gardens. considering Till's very early life, it's made him realize he's both sensitive to touch, but deeply needing of it.
Till rubs his eyes because his head hurts (his own doing, primarily), unconsciously tilting his knees in Ivan's direction. he's conflicted; he feels like he can stand, and if Ivan's upset, there's no sense in forcing contact...but perhaps toxicly, Till still can't bear to leave him, like he might evaporate.]
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for years, Till had only really seen Ivan's face through ads, and probably vice-versa. Till was never booked for interviews, due to his unruly, predictable nature. Till's stomach would twist in a strange way he didn't like to hear Ivan's voice in casual passing, but couldn't resist reading some of his interviews where he could.
then Ivan died, and now there's all this bullshit. but maybe it's inevitable. they aren't kids anymore, but people like Ivan and Till don't really know what it means to become men, either.
he's just glad to be close to Ivan, even if the situation is still shitty. but it's not as shitty as a fake choke-out, as far as contact goes. that, Luka's mocking, intimate touch, and Mizi's soft cradling have been the sum total of human connection since the gardens. considering Till's very early life, it's made him realize he's both sensitive to touch, but deeply needing of it.
Till rubs his eyes because his head hurts (his own doing, primarily), unconsciously tilting his knees in Ivan's direction. he's conflicted; he feels like he can stand, and if Ivan's upset, there's no sense in forcing contact...but perhaps toxicly, Till still can't bear to leave him, like he might evaporate.]