[ ivan doesn't pull away, but when he leans into it, it's subtle. but it's still... something. whether or not till notices is another thing on its own.
interacting with till has always been fun and games, for the most part. ivan could ask him questions till would label as dumb, or annoying, the same with anything he did to till. till would let ivan hang around, watch him, exist by him. but all of that was because till wanted him around? ivan knew he wasn't number one in till's heart, but when he realized sua and mizi weren't like him and till at all—... mizi loved to be in sua's presence, and very obviously. ivan felt that way toward till, but till—... it was different.
things are heavy. ivan can feel it. he may not be the best with emotions, but till is different. till has been able to glimpse the cracks of ivan's mask before.
what he did during round six has changed everything— or maybe it's being alive that has. the last time a plan fell apart so badly was when till changed his mind about running. even then, ivan was able to recover. somehow... somehow believing till didn't care about him is easier than knowing he does. ]
no subject
interacting with till has always been fun and games, for the most part. ivan could ask him questions till would label as dumb, or annoying, the same with anything he did to till. till would let ivan hang around, watch him, exist by him. but all of that was because till wanted him around? ivan knew he wasn't number one in till's heart, but when he realized sua and mizi weren't like him and till at all—... mizi loved to be in sua's presence, and very obviously. ivan felt that way toward till, but till—... it was different.
things are heavy. ivan can feel it. he may not be the best with emotions, but till is different. till has been able to glimpse the cracks of ivan's mask before.
what he did during round six has changed everything— or maybe it's being alive that has. the last time a plan fell apart so badly was when till changed his mind about running. even then, ivan was able to recover. somehow... somehow believing till didn't care about him is easier than knowing he does. ]
...what do you feel right now?