[ a punishment? what part of this could be a punishment? maybe the continued forcing of his feelings onto till. it was supposed to be the end of that when ivan died. maybe living with the uncertainty that mizi would ever return? and urak may have entered him in the next alien stage, too… ]

…wanting you to live… even in that place… I guess that might seem like a punishment to you. I didn’t mean for it to be.

[ ivan says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world: ]

But if you were gone, I never could have kept living, anyway.